5 Fun Things To Do During a Swepco Outage
Shreveport Bossier has had more power issues than Gene Simmons had sexual partners (ok ok, we may have had more) and there's nothing hotter than telling your friends you were part of a "rolling brown out" like it's some sort of new YouTube craze, and there are more outages expected. With that in mind and temps darkness in your near future, below I've listed 5 fun things to do when Swepco has a major fail.
The power's off! And unless you have Prince Albert in a can, your fridge isn't running! Clammer over to your freezer and remove all ice cream in sight and launch yourself into it with anything you can get your hands on - forks, knives, spatulas, spades, CD cases...You'll probably have some reservations about how good for you it is but don't worry, you will be heralded as a local hero, poets will write sonnets about how you bravely put ice cream before yourself and let not one atom go to waste. People will talk for years to come of how - like the Carpathia to the Titanic - you came to the aid of ice cream in need.
You might have elderly neighbors or really hot sorority chicks who, during a power outage, may feel vulnerable. Take time to reflect on your youth and see if there are any deeds left to be done at your next door neighbors casa...like talking bad about the neighbors that moved in down the street, or if you live on sorority row, pillow fights in lingerie! If you can't find someone to love, pull the drapes and find your inner being...in your pants.
C'mon, we've all seen Mythbusters and those survival shows, surely you can put something together to MAKE electricity and (don't call me shirely). Roll up your sleeves, go green and create your own power source when conventional means of acquiring electrickery have failed you. Go fetch your lawnmower and remove the impeller (a crazy circular swirly turbine-looking deal); for those that do not know how to do this, first unscrew the nut or screw on the blade, remove the blade and underneath will be your impeller...of hope! now, attach the impeller to a shaft (it may be necessary to dismantle the engine if you don't have a handy shaft hanging around, then, attach magnets to the shaft and place the magnet-covered end inside a used toilet roll. Wrap wire around the roll several hundred times and attach the two ends to the mains electricity going into your house (Safe and simple!). Place a normal desk fan in front of your impeller, plug it in, switch it on, ignore the fatal flaw in the plan, give thanks to Faraday and his laws of induction, and bask in the glory of the power turbine you've just created!
Ok, so this game isn't as deadly as it sounds, but it COULD turn in to the Thunderdome of fun, where several friends enter, but only one will leave. Here's how to play: Turn off every switch you can find and wait until you think the power's back on, if, upon flicking a switch, you are bathed in the shimmering golden glow of success (like R. Kelly) then you win and we all enjoy a shot. If, however, you are met by the solitary 'click' of failure, you and you alone must indulge in the grog of your choice. It makes drinking in the dark way more fun when you're not alone. And if you are alone, just drink by yourself like normal.
Throw on your shroud of awesome, put on your Ed Hardy tiger pants and head down to your favorite watering hole, after all, alcohol was put on this earth to solve all our problems. It fixes ugly so I bet it can fix power outage anxiousness too. Find an eager beaver or some farmers daughter that's willing to come see your place and have a roll in the hay...in the dark! Once you get back, unleash the raw, neanderthal within, sharpen a curtain pole, hunt down a wild boar! Or maybe just sit down and talk about your feelings by firelight if you're going to be less adventurous...less adventurous like a three dollar bill!