Hometown: In a Galaxy Far Far Away.....
Birthday: 4/5/87
Sign: I don' know. I think I'm a goat
Marital Status: Single
Kids: Depends on what part of the country we're in
Pets: One dog...ugliest animal this side of hell. Her name is TC which stands for the cuteness
Favorite Artist: Alice in Chains
Gabe
Brett Favre Is Retiring [VIDEO]
This just in! Reports are now coming in that Brett Favre has submitted his retirement papers to the NFL. This has been done before and most people are skeptic to believe. This will last 3 days and then, like Jesus, he will return.
Further Proof That Clowns Are The Minions Of The Devil
Remember that movie “Patch Adams”, where Robin Williams played a doctor who helped his patients by wearing a red clown nose and making them LAUGH during treatment? A team of doctors in Israel just finished a study of women who were getting in-vitro fertilization treatments. And they found the odds of conceiving a child through IVF were BETTER when there was a clown gallivanting around the doctor’
I Slightly Dislike Ted Williams
Homeless golden-voice-guy Ted Williams was detained by the LAPD after getting into a "yelling altercation" with his daughter. Bystanders agreed it was the most pleasant 10-minute stream of furious "F-bombs" they'd ever heard. Ted Williams is that homeless guy with the golden oldies voice that went viral last week...
Sledding in Louisiana
During this winter apocalypse that has happened we decided to go sledding. Of course, there are no sled stores around myah so we used a kneeboard on the fairway of a golfcourse. Sadly, Louisianians were not blessed with that particular skill but the doctor said that my skin should grow back in no time
2011 Is A Great Year For Worms
I found out that on New Years Day close to 100 blackbirds fell dead from the skies of Arkansas which makes 2011 an epic year for worms.
Gabe’s PSA
Hello, boys and girls. You know me as your friendly DJ on 99X but today I would like to talk to you about something serious. Have you ever been walking down the road or in the grocery store or maybe out in your yard and then you were attacked by a velociraptor...
War on Deerorism
Recently, on my vacation, I shot at a large deer and missed. This displeased me and now war has been called on to get rid of this deer. If you see the deer in the above image then alert me and I will be there to send that deer to hell
Zombie Strippers
Last night, I was surfing through Netflix when I discovered a film called Zombie Strippers. It has Jenna Jameson in it so I assumed it would be worth my while. I assumed wrong. Now I'm thinking twice about going into another strip club in fear of being castrated and turned into a zombie...
Cats are evil (make no mistake)
Yesterday I heard about a cat over in the UK that saved a house by opening a window and sending smoke signals...(scoff, bullshit). So let's recap, cats that save lives one, cats that don't care if you die, 8,000,000,000,000,000,000