I love my girlfriend to death. I really do. But sometimes, I feel beaten down. Between her chastising me for being a smart ass and getting yelled at for not taking out the trash, sometimes I just feel beaten down. To help combat the effects of an overbearing girlfriend/wife, we here at 99X started the Battered Boyfriend Group.

It's a place for us to connect, talk about our feelings, and reclaim our manhood. And by "talk about our feelings" and "reclaim our manhood," I mean avoid her bitchiness and go out for drinks with the fellas. Preferably at a strip club or somewhere else involving naked women. It's like group therapy without all the crying and fear of becoming a pussy.

I know to some of you, this may sound like a BS excuse to go out drinking with the guys once or twice a week...and it is. But you have to admit, it's one hell of an excuse.