Alright! "Poker Face" again! No one could ever get sick of that song!

It's time to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Tell Kathy Griffin to stand against the wall and remain motionless.

Hey, look! A straight dude! Just kidding.

A turtleneck to hide my Adam's Apple? It's just what I wanted!

Today, we salute the genius who composed brilliant lyrics like "Dance dance, just dance," and "Da da doo-doo-mmm."

Rhyming "bluffin'" and "muffin?" Now THAT'S songwriting!

What a coincidence: My gaydar just exploded too.

Alright everyone: Time to play Pin-the-Penis-on-the-Androgynous-Techno-Act.

Did you notice that she blew out her candles exactly like Madonna does?

Cake eaten. Presents opened. You know what that means, people: Time to get oiled up for the orgy!

This is the gayest place I've ever been. And that's saying something . . . because I've been in Elton John.

Isn't it kind of hypocritical for all these gender-reassigned people to claim they were "Born This Way"?

Before I decide how to celebrate, let me first check what Madonna did on HER birthday, then do something much less original.

Wow. It's like one-part Cirque du Soleil, one-part "Glee", and one-part something gayer than those two things.

I wouldn't touch those hamburgers . . . I heard she wore them last night at a party.

This party is gayer than a Jonas Brothers meet & greet.

It's a coffee maker, Gaga. Go ahead, try it on!