This guy's no Tom, Dick or Harry. Well, Tom or Harry, anyway.

Police in Largo, Fla. arrested Jeffrey Forrest Poole, 37, on Sunday after they arrived at his home while responding to a domestic disturbance report.

That's certainly not funny, but what followed was. Poole declared, “I will beat every cop’s ass!" and tried to punch an officer. He was eventually hauled off to the slammer where officers jotted down Poole's alias while filling out the otherwise traditional paperwork that comes along with an arrest report.

Ready? Seriously, are you ready? Like, you're not drinking milk or anything and running the risk it will come spritzing out of your nose? No? Good. The alias? "Dickface Johnson."

That shames Buck Naked, we can tell you that. And it lets people know right off the bat that you either have a wicked sense of humor, are well-endowed or are a total scumbag. Or all three. We all have many parts to our personalities.