Here are the top songs dedicated to 'self pleasure' (Notice I didn't call it by its more common name. Woody the Digital D-bag has deemed that word to be too much. Which is kind of ironic considering what we call him around the office). It's something we all participate in and some great songs have come of it. (No pun intended). 

Anyway, it doesn't matter if you spit-shine the old water pump, wax the brass candlestick, playcards with only one hand on the table, ride the quarter-horse, join the solo-aviator division,  give in to the hand police or pull your pud, here are your jams. If I left any out, feel free to leave a comment below.

Bonus: Texas Tech Bell ringer

That guy enjoys his job WAY too much...