Truth be told, I don't think I've ever watched a complete episode of 'American Idol'. I hear about about it in the halls occasionally, but I never know the names of the contestants...never care who wins. Steven Tyler was a judge, right? I hope he got a fat check, because it seems like a bit of an embarrassment for the front man of America's Greatest Rock Band to become a clown for mass entertainment.

But, Charlie Sheen, that's another story altogether. Charlie has been a hero of my dark side for years. Since that whole escort debacle...what? 10 years ago? When Charlie uttered what could be my favorite misogynistic line of all time: "I don't pay women to sleep with me. I pay them to LEAVE."  Brilliant. 'Two-and-a-Half  Men' was one of my favorite guilty pleasures only because I knew what Charlie was capable of at any given moment.

That's what makes the thought of Charlie judging American Idol so appealing to me. The man can go 'Full Frontal Meltdown' at any time. And I want to see that.  I'll sit through hundreds of no-talent hacks to watch Charlie bring down a show like Idol, and possibly an entire network, in mere moments.

In an interview with TMZ, Sheen said that he'd join the judges' panel on two conditions: 1) that FX, home of his new comedy series "Anger Management," sign off on any deal and 2) that his salary be substantial enough and include a commitment that "'Idol' matches 20 percent of my weekly salary for Autism Speaks, JDRF, and the Boys and Girls Club."

Will he do it? According to Sheen on Monday night's episode of "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" , he hasn't been contacted by "Idol" producers, and says,

"I had never thought about it, and I heard it on the news, so I thought I'd better respond to that.  I came up with my terms ... and I'm waiting to hear back."

He added that he doesn't presently critique the show while watching it, he thinks he's be a good judge,

"I could be helpful and give these kids some guidance without leading them to suicide."

Check out a part of the interview here: