You’re the Reason God Made Oklahoma

That was the only song that I could think of that had "Oklahoma" in it besides something stupid from the play, "Oklahoma". 

So I have returned a changed man from the wilderness of Oklahoma. I went to Broken Bow for some R and R and it was one of the most outstanding vacations I have ever been on as well as the cheapest. I stayed in a cabin, like a man. I swam a river, like a man. I jumped off a bridge, severed nerve endings in my ass muscles from a major league butt buster, like a dumbass, and a man. I kayaked and drank beer at the same time which after a while turns against you and you just end up ditching your kayak to avoid running it up a fat lady's ass who is stuck on a boulder. I scaled a rock wall that was 40 feet in the air to find the perfect cliff diving spot and managed to bring the cooler of beer with me, LIKE A MAN. After looking back, I see that some of my stunts could have ended in my ultimate demise but it was all worth it and I cannot wait to return to Oklahoma, simply to outdo myself.