How does Maynard J. Keenan find the time? I do my mediocre 4 hour show every day; eat; find a few minutes for private time (torturing the toilet);  get in maybe one episode of a favorite TV show; and harass the girlfriend until she tells me it's time to go.  Day=Gone.  And then there's Maynard: He's a musician, with not one, BUT THREE BANDS - Puscifer, Tool, and A Perfect Circle; an actor; record producer; comedian; multimedia artist; and winemaker in Northern Arizona - where he co-owns Arizona Stronghold Vineyards, and oversees Caduceus Cellars and Merkin Vineyards. Thanks, Maynard, for truly making me feel like the lazy, fat bastard I am...

Oh, and that's not enough is it? You just have to find more responsibilities to shove into your allotted 24 hours per day.   Newspaper columnist?   Really, Maynard?

Starting Monday, September 10th, you'll be able to read Maynard's musings on music, wine, and God knows what twice a week in Up on the Sun and Phoenix New Times.

For your first column, about the release date for that new Tool album?  Never hurts to ask, huh?