My vacation to Baltimore was one of the most interesting trips I've ever been on. For the most part, I had one HELL of a trip. Drank a lot of good beer, ate some great food and got to spend some quality time with my family. However, there was one minor hiccup during my trip. I got into a bar fight with a drunk chick and lost.

Ok, it wasn't exactly a bar fight...but I did end up on the floor looking at the lights. I was down in Fells Point at the Waterfront Hotel Bar to see Jason Heiser from the Charm City Devils and his band the Tuesday Knights play.

I was drinking some beer, having a grand ole time...and then it all went to hell in a hand basket. The bar was pretty full for a Tuesday night. So, I was just sitting there shooting the breeze with Jason, when this drunk chick wedges herself between me and the guy next to me. With quarters being so tight, her ass ended up on my leg.

No biggie, I thought. I had some room to scoot my stool over a bit towards Jason. So, I did. However, when I moved over, the chick moved over with me. Except this time, she didn't just put her ass on my leg, she started dancing and grinding too. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, she wasn't bad looking.

Well, she literally stood there grinding her ass into my leg for at least five minutes. Figuring that this was no longer accidental, I decided to leap into action. I tapped the young lady on the shoulder and said, 'Not that I'm complaining, but after getting a lap dance from you for 10 minutes, I feel obligated to know your name and buy you a drink.'

At this point, she turns around, sticks her tongue out at me and then goes back to grinding away. At this point, I had no idea what to do. So, I just left her alone, turned what parts my body that I could back to Jason to continue our conversation.

I guess either the chick took offense to my comment, decided she didn't like me or has the strangest flirting technique on the planet. Because, while I was turned away from her, the chick knocked the hell out of me.

And because I was slightly inebriated and didn't seeing it coming, this broad literally knocked me off my stool. I was speechless. I was shocked. I had no idea what the hell was going on.

Even crazier, while I'm laid out, I see this broad look down at me, chug my beer, smile and then walk out the damn door. Not only have I never seen anything like this but I've been apart of anything even remotely close to this. And, believe me, I've dated some crazy ass women.

Eventually I pulled myself together and went back to drinking and having fun. But, that kind of messed me up for a while. Not only did I get laid out, not only did she take my beer, but she also took my pride! I guess things could always be least she didn't take my wallet too. Thank god there is no video evidence (that I know of) of this embarrassing attack not only of my person but my manhood.

And, for anyone that doubts the validity of this story. Here is the post from my personal FB page that confirms the damn thing.


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