Hockey.  Now there's a sport!  It's fast; you get to carry (and swing) a big stick; you get to fire a rock solid chunk of rubber at people's faces, and a bloody fight breaks out about every 30 seconds (thus, the origin of the term "red ice").  Hockey trumps feux sports like baseball and golf every time.

I really didn't think hockey could get any better.  I was wrong.

Chicks in bikinis, like bacon,  make everything better.   Put chicks in bikinis in charge, and the Inquisition would still be popular.  Probably on pay-per-view.  So, it was only a matter of time before a marketing genius came up with the idea of putting chicks in bikinis on skates and handing them a stick.  And then giving them their own realityshow.  Holy Geezus, we've found a way to print money!!!

The Bikini Hockey League is the brainchild of Cary Eskridge of Tulsa, and here in a recent press release, is how it breaks down:

The idea of a bikini hockey league came to Tulsan Cary Eskridge back in 2004 when the National Hockey League lockout occurred. The lack of major league hockey left the media scrambling to fill the void of hockey news and fans looking for other forms of entertainment. Not a man to sit still, Eskridge started looking for ways to fill the void and that is when the idea of bikini hockey came to Eskridge's mind.

But there was not enough time to react and make the dream a reality at that time. So the idea stayed on the back burner waiting for the right time. Well, that time has finally come.

Eskridge has an extensive hockey background and feels now is the time to finally breathe life into his long-time dream. Eskridge has a background in video production and has also owned inline hockey leagues on and off for the past 20 years and believes the Bikini Hockey League could bring back the popularity and awareness of inline hockey to the mainstream and introduce new fans to a great sport.

Notice, that nowhere in the backstory, do you hear about backsides.  But you know that backsides are one of the draws here...Expansion to a full-blown league with franchises in other cities is in the talking stages. For now, Eskridge is scouting for a mansion to house the players in during tryouts, a la The Bachelor - which is where the reality show part comes in.  Know someone with the necessary ass-sets?  Try-outs (i.e., 'Casting') are going on now, they can sign up on the league's official website.  I have a few prospective candidates here:



And my #1 draft choice, would of course, have to be THE GREAT ONE's daughter, Paulina Gretzky: