Don't care about March Madness because your team isn't in it? Find out what went wrong with today's list of the Top Reasons Your Team Didn't Make It to the NCAA Tournament.

They run a "pro-style" offense. And that "pro" is the Cleveland Cavaliers.

The players keep shooting from behind the half-court line thinking those count as four-pointers.

Since they take their Native American mascot so seriously, they show up to games drunk.

Players were secretly recruited with promises of a fully-loaded Kia Forte.

Basketball? It's 2011. Everybody knows the COOL kids are in Glee Club.

Your star player has been compared to Michael Jordan . . . when he played baseball.

No one in your starting lineup is being investigated by campus police for sexual assault.

Not a single player on the team makes white women over 55 nervous.

The only performance-enhancing drug they take before a game is Cialis.

They're dumb enough to believe "bracketologist" is a real word, and not something ESPN made up to make themselves sound clever.

It's a Catholic college and the team gave up winning for Lent.

The school actually benches players for bad grades.

Look at your point guard. See how he's white? There ya go.

They got confused and thought winning consists of doing coke and living with porn stars.