Posting unique ads in magazines and online can lead to great things. It's how Mick Mars got hooked up with Motley Crue, Ozzy with Sabbath, etc.. This fella here is a drummer looking for a gig...I think he'd fit in perfectly with Spinal Tap. What do you think? Can you use him?


I do NOT play to a click track or backing tracks and GO SCREW if you think I’m gonna “tone it down a little, bro” so you can piddle away on your stringed sissy box. I WILL NOT play hotel cafe and don’t take direction from ninnies who live in their f—ing parents basement and whack off to dreams of hanging with Jack Johnson and rapping about his “process”, you piece of s–t. I am a real mother f—er with balls of steel and have a drumset that loves to be ass f—ed mercilessly from behind and I need to join a band who understands that stage-sex is part of the f—ing game, dude. So when I’m f—ing the s–t outta the kit, you can’t be the guy in the corner beating your limp, taffy d–k wishing that you could stick your d–k in too, NO! You get that d–k hard and f— the stage with me, p—y boy. I’m so sick of stealing the show and would really love to meet some real sons of f—ing bitches who aren’t afraid to use a sweat band for its intended purpose: wiping off f—ing sweat, c–, groupies, p—y juice, blood, etc.

Do not write me for reasons of sass because I will FIND YOU and shred your f—ing face with my S–T-STORMING DRUM GODLINESS!

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