Being a man takes a lot of work. You have be strong like a bull, drink like a fish, smoke like a Colorado forest fire, and bang like a porn star. And damn is it exhausting being that big of a bad ass. So make sure you make the most important meal of the day, breakfast, a damn fine one so you can make it through your day with all the power you need.

A man that had his stuff together when it came to breakfast was Hunter S. Thompson. He was not only a mad genius, but a man's man. Here was the Good Doctor's prescription for the perfect breakfast via his book "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail":

I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon … The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crêpes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned-beef hash with diced chilies, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of key lime pie, two margaritas and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert.

Other requirements included multiple newspapers, a notebook (“for planning the next 24 hours”), good music (“at least one source”), being outdoors and, obviously, being naked.

Once you learn to eat like a man, you can then develop the skills to buy drugs like a man: