Hey Ladies, A New Study Says That Semen Makes You Smarter…No, Seriously
The wonderful researchers from SUNY Albany have authored a study which claims that certain chemicals found in semen can have a positive effect on the physical and mental health of women who frequently engage in unprotected sex.
Apparently, semen contains such "mood-altering chemicals" as estrone and oxytocin, which elevate mood; cortisol, which promotes affection; serotonin, which acts as an antidepressant; and melatonin, which induces sleep.
Of all the findings, perhaps the most interesting was the discovery that sexually active women who usually or always used condoms were on par in their unhappiness with women who abstained from sex altogether.
Gallup and Burch also determined that women with a significant amount of "seminal plasma" in their system have improved concentration, and excel over their semen-lacking counterparts in performing cognitive tasks.
You can read all the juicy details yourself, but the gist of the story is the more semen you take in, the smarter and happier you'll be. But ladies remember to be responsible. Nobody wants an accidental pregnancy, so please put and dispose of the semen somewhere safe...like in your mouth.